4tth week down the road, and I'm officially drained out.... Not sure where am I even heading towards.


Day in, day out, it looks the same...I have no answers for the questions that are bound for me.


I've got no freaking idea what I am doing. :'(


At times I just feel like giving up, but then again I'm not a quitter. Where do one "buy" motivation from?
Money can be motivation, but then again personal satisfaction is a bigger motivation for me.


I have asked myself numerous times, what is my passion, and the answer i get from myself is always the same, "I've got no IDEA"!


For someone as clueless as me, it's a challenge to find happiness in whatever I do.


Should I fake it up and start "liking" things? Is that the norm of life?
Maybe it is, and perhaps I should start being more enthusiastic myself about my daily tasks.


So how did the week go? Pretty nice and simple 21st birthday i had :)
Nice dinner with family, and then dinner+movie+slumber party with friends...


And now I am back to reality!


Practically home alone the entire day, only to make me realise how freaking lonely I am!


It makes me wonder if others are similar to me as well- a clueless girl who have got no idea what her life is all about and where it is heading towards! 
Be it passion, work,relationship or whatever, I'm totally blur as to what i want...


And yet again I'm asked why am I freaking single till today, grrr. If I knew that, I would not be one!


Having had the chance to meet with some old acquittance, I see many of them having planned out their life, even though its just in a draft form for now.


They know what they want and what they should do to get there.


As for me, I still stare at myself in the mirror and ask myself  "which road do I take?" or "how do I go down the road accurately without getting lost midway?"...


That call form Pfizer was WOW, but I turned it down :( Maybe the location and the JD was a turn off,, or perhaps I am still optimistic of making it work where I am now...
I thought of going with the flow, but then, at the end of the day, I end up asking myself "what did i gain today?"???


Anyways, am I thinking too much? Is that my main flaw? Hahahahaha, maybe I am...
Its 4+ am in the morning, and I'm awake, ranting here!
In 2 hours time, Ill be heading out to start my day, and perhaps its best to rant out everything so that I'm able to start fresh...


Hoping to have a better day,


Adios!