4tth week down the road, and I'm officially drained out.... Not sure where am I even heading towards.


Day in, day out, it looks the same...I have no answers for the questions that are bound for me.


I've got no freaking idea what I am doing. :'(


At times I just feel like giving up, but then again I'm not a quitter. Where do one "buy" motivation from?
Money can be motivation, but then again personal satisfaction is a bigger motivation for me.


I have asked myself numerous times, what is my passion, and the answer i get from myself is always the same, "I've got no IDEA"!


For someone as clueless as me, it's a challenge to find happiness in whatever I do.


Should I fake it up and start "liking" things? Is that the norm of life?
Maybe it is, and perhaps I should start being more enthusiastic myself about my daily tasks.


So how did the week go? Pretty nice and simple 21st birthday i had :)
Nice dinner with family, and then dinner+movie+slumber party with friends...


And now I am back to reality!


Practically home alone the entire day, only to make me realise how freaking lonely I am!


It makes me wonder if others are similar to me as well- a clueless girl who have got no idea what her life is all about and where it is heading towards! 
Be it passion, work,relationship or whatever, I'm totally blur as to what i want...


And yet again I'm asked why am I freaking single till today, grrr. If I knew that, I would not be one!


Having had the chance to meet with some old acquittance, I see many of them having planned out their life, even though its just in a draft form for now.


They know what they want and what they should do to get there.


As for me, I still stare at myself in the mirror and ask myself  "which road do I take?" or "how do I go down the road accurately without getting lost midway?"...


That call form Pfizer was WOW, but I turned it down :( Maybe the location and the JD was a turn off,, or perhaps I am still optimistic of making it work where I am now...
I thought of going with the flow, but then, at the end of the day, I end up asking myself "what did i gain today?"???


Anyways, am I thinking too much? Is that my main flaw? Hahahahaha, maybe I am...
Its 4+ am in the morning, and I'm awake, ranting here!
In 2 hours time, Ill be heading out to start my day, and perhaps its best to rant out everything so that I'm able to start fresh...


Hoping to have a better day,


Adios! 

off to a high school gathering today!! or is it a primary skool gathering? O.o, something like that...

Then, off for some window shopping...

Plans for 2ml-settle the arrangements of my parent's vacation!! yet to book their baggage and all :D

Plans for monday- Work as usual, then bak home or out for dinner with my family,weeeeee

Plans for tuesday- Work as usual, then post-birthday celebration

Plans for wednesday-friday- Just work...

And damn, Im absolutely lost without my phone :'( Hopefully, I find it back on monday...

~adios~

Man, thank god its friday!!!

been a depressing week altogether.

Now the pressure is both from within  and from external sources as well!


Its just a month, and I'm like so ................... I have no idea!!

Im supposed to be happy, i'll be turning 21 in 3 days time! Its a day everyone looks forward to, supposingly...But then my life looks like its bundled up in stress right now!

I so wanna take it easy, but when i get the same question everyday, and when i've got no answer, I'm so lost as to what to do!

At times, i feel like breaking down and just opting for an easier way out,,,For now at least i know money isnt everything...But for my future's sake, whats the best  move?

Then again, I'm not a quitter and would not want to be one! And for that reason, i shall remain optimistic.

I really wanna try to enjoy this weekend to the max...Before starting all over again.....

Hoping monday would be an "okay"day...Its my 21st birthday, and God, I just hope its with good memories or normal memories, and not bad ones :(

ciaoz

Frustration or just another day?

Another day!

I'm freaking passive, and that's me! Sometimes I wonder if I'm lost in the wrong part of the "world"...

God, wonder how am I gonna do this! :( No idea if its the feeling of disappointed, frustration, irritation or just another emotional state of me that's making me say this...

Gotta escape for now........

Monday Blues or A Blue Monday?

Freaking tired!!

How i wish I lived 5 minutes away from my office, darn :(

It was a "so so" morning....Enjoyed my "MS Paint" session in the morning, thanks to the screwed up server :D

Boring day though... Its today, 2ml, day after 2ml and then next week...It continues and never seems to come to a stopping point!

Thinking to catch the match tonite, but i wonder if i'll be able to stay awake :/ Don't wanna take another cup of coffee, had 2 cups today!

Looks like all the hype on FB on the "animal-testing" issue finally subdued.

Today, the most amazing part is, I got to dream of something i wish would come true...At least it was for a few minutes :) Sometimes, no matter how we try to go far away from a certain things, something still makes us think of it again.

Nothing much to write for today though... After pondering on my current situation, I think I should stop being so negative and start feeling happy! At least Im somewhere right :S

Gonna start reading soon...gotta catch up on all the lost time. Just realised that working is as tiring as going for classes, with the exception of having to worry of exams. At least I can sleep at night`knowing tomorrow will be another new day!

Kinda miss the happy times though... Feel lonely these days :(

Signing off for now, gonna try to get some sleep and wake up for the match later.

And I shall end my post with the countdown --> 7 days more!!!

Just Ranting!

Arghh, getting pissed with all these animal-testing crap. Niways, its personal preferences, why some choose to hit out at those who oppose the idea?


Its my blardy damn wish if i oppose animal-testing, despite being a biotech grad!


And hell yeah, im not brainless to oppose it either, coz im an animal lover! And it doesnt concern anyone if im one!


U wanna only use make-up products made with animal testing, go ahead, no one asked u either! But check ur facts first (RAGE mode)...As I know u do use some that states its animal-friendly...Make sure u avoid all of those tags if u wanna live up to your statement.


Ethic aka bioethics my ASS. All a way to console themselves for the deeds. Come on, if u support it, just say so, and if i oppose it, just shut up la. No need to hit out at me saying its based on bioethics and crap! Coz ur totally disregarding ethics itself when u utilize anther living being for your own benefit, whilst torturing them!


Don't be a hypocrite and hide behind the word "bioethics", coz U and Me know that it doesn't exist!

Sizzling Sunday...

Its Sunday!!Which means tomorrow is Monday!!


Niways, had a nice night yesterday, got to know some cousins whom I've not been in touch with for years, and i mean literally years! 


Its nice to know that I have many cousins of the similar age group :)


Attempted to dance banghra style dance at the dinner, and failed miserably though...I suck badly in dancing :(


Today morning was a nice one as well...Went for shopping and thanks to my parents, got some nice stuffs :):)
Have got to head elsewhere tonite as well...


Indeed a busy weekend, and i assume most my weekends after this are gonna be similar, since I have to stuff in all my to-do tasks on saturday or  sunday,,grr...


WC: Happy that England played badly :D Can't wait to see the samba boys and Spanish team!


And looking forward to tomorrow as well!! Yes, I am actually looking forward to a Monday! Gotta be optimistic and positive :)


The count down is 8 days from now :) 
21 on the 21st in yr 2010!




Adios!

A New Start :)

At last, I've decided to start blogging. However, for now, I am not looking towards having others read my blog :)

It would be more of a journal of my daily activities and what's new in life as every day passes by.

Despite my passion for writing, I never really blogged before. Perhaps, I am more inclined towards writing on political stuffs rather than casual matters :D

Niways, as this is my first ever post, let me start off with a summary of my entire week.

This week, I moved on towards the second week of my working life. One day is a happy day and the next day, I feel so down. I guess being a woman is all about being moody as well. Thanks to some encouraging colleagues, I am trying to be optimistic.

Being a quiet person by nature is never a good thing though. I talk and I mean a lot, but then it takes time. I need to get used to, in order to be a chat box. I guess and hope I would change with time.

Talking about pressure, its something normal, and for now, its me who's pressuring myself. I've got to loosen up a little and take things step by step.

What I like though, its that everyday is a new day, and another day for me to learn new things.

Its nice to be able to learn diverse things in life. Coming from a biological background (which was never my cup of tea :D), its interesting to be able to venture into the financial sector.

Its also a path for me to discover myself. After years of uncertainty and being a clueless nut, I am happy that despite being a little afraid of how I am going to fair in my new job, I'm starting to learn the ropes of my tasks. Its tough, but then again, nothing is easy in life.

Patience is the key here I guess. And optimism, as well as confidence. Talking about confidence, despite being told so many times that I appear to be very confident, I still feel nervous at times. I have got no freaking clue why though. And at times, I do appear to be really a low profile person. I never really react to things much :D, perhaps that's just me! A simple smile would suffice and is the most one might get out of me...I wonder when someone is gonna blow up to my non-existent replies and reactions ;D

So, yeah, the week went on fine, with the last day bringing a smile to my face. Got in something, and was over the moon about it. But then again, the pressure builds up too. Nevertheless, as i said, I'm gonna try to remain patient, confident, and optimistic. I am also gonna be more bold, outspoken and etc from now on. I've got to start acting like an adult :D Having said that, I am so looking forward for the 9th day from today ;D. Its nice to turn 21, and have everything around me looking so NEW!

21 on the 21st in 2010!!! A coincidence indeed!

Apart from that, I always wonder why people look at me like a kid. I mean, I'm a freaking adult! Again coming from a biological background, my daily jokes involved X-rated stuffs. It was normal coz even my lectures, notes and everything were obscene at times :D. And yet people tend to treat me like an alien when they wanna joke around. Grrr, I am not so innocent as I may look :P. Yes, I may be quiet and I probably do look too nerdy and "goody-goody", but then I am so not! Hahahaha, its nice to be a devil in disguise though...

Its weekends, and I am practically lazing around. Looking forward to the upcoming matches of the WC. Managed to stay up for the first match, and woah, I have just become the fan of Tshabalala...Unique name! Will be rooting for Brazil (my all time favourite), Spain (for the cutie pie Raul) and South Korea (truly asian)...The WC spirit is indeed high in the office :D which reminds me I've got to start decorating my cubicle with some "cute" stuffs...

I guess that's it for my first post. Will perhaps write in another post for tomorrow and then, it's back to OSIM.

Gotta start "dressing up" for a wedding dinner tonite :D Its the wedding season, grr and my weekends are hijacked by all these functions. Need extra time to catch up with friends and watch some movies!

Adios!